Our collision of human nature verses unaccountable bureaucracy begins thusly: needed a copy of my DMV registration for reasons explained below, but the security on the DMV website requires that the FORMAT of how you enter your physical address must match what they have on record. Tried three times, no dice. So asked for help online.
Feel free to skip the boring parts: they are many.
Miles (9/15/2021, 3:35:44 PM): Hello, I'm Miles, the California DMV's Virtual Assistant. I'm here to answer general DMV related questions.
Miles (9/15/2021, 3:35:46 PM): I am pretty smart, but sometimes I hit a bump in the road. If I cannot answer your question, type "agent" or you will be prompted to chat with an agent during normal business hours, 8 a.m.–5 p.m. (Wednesday 9 a.m.-5 p.m.).
Miles (9/15/2021, 3:35:47 PM): Menu Options:
Online Services
Vehicle/Vessel Registration
Driver's License/ID Card
Moving to California?
REAL ID
Me (9/15/2021, 3:35:59 PM): agent
Miles (9/15/2021, 3:36:01 PM): We are currently offering live chat as an option. Our average wait time to speak with an agent is 10 minutes.
Miles (9/15/2021, 3:36:03 PM): Would you like to wait?
Miles (9/15/2021, 3:36:04 PM): Menu Options:
Yes, wait for an agent
No, return to Main Menu
Me (9/15/2021, 3:36:06 PM): Yes, wait for an agent
Miles (9/15/2021, 3:36:08 PM): Lets start by collecting some basic information:
Miles (9/15/2021, 3:36:09 PM): What is your First Name?
Me (9/15/2021, 3:36:13 PM): Kevin
Miles (9/15/2021, 3:36:15 PM): What is your Last Name?
Me (9/15/2021, 3:36:17 PM): Madden
Miles (9/15/2021, 3:36:19 PM): What is your email address?
Me (9/15/2021, 3:36:23 PM): (I give them my email address)
Miles (9/15/2021, 3:36:25 PM): What is your phone number?
Me (9/15/2021, 3:36:28 PM): (I give them that, too)
Miles (9/15/2021, 3:36:29 PM): What is your inquiry about? Select an option below.
Miles (9/15/2021, 3:36:31 PM): Menu Options:
Driver License
Real ID
Vehicle Registration
Other
Me (9/15/2021, 3:36:35 PM): Vehicle Registration
Miles (9/15/2021, 3:36:38 PM): Thank you for contacting us. We have logged case number REDACTED for your inquiry. Please wait for the next available agent.
DMV Chat Support (9/15/2021, 3:56:52 PM): Thank you for contacting the California Department of Motor Vehicles. I'm Louie, my agent number is (REDACTED to protect the guilty).
How may I help you today?
Note: Please see DMV’s privacy policy for more information about our privacy policy, records retention, and privacy compliance: ~!Privacy Policy!~https://www.dmv.ca.gov/portal/dmv/dmvfooter2/privacypolicy/portal/dmv
Me (9/15/2021, 3:58:31 PM): Hi Louie.
Me (9/15/2021, 3:58:52 PM): I'm on the road, and trying to get parking permit for my Toyota for when I return to San Francisco at Halloween.
Me (9/15/2021, 3:59:21 PM): To do so, I must enter the registration address \"as formatted\" which I don't have, as I bought my vehicle using Shift.com
Me (9/15/2021, 3:59:50 PM): Despite me asking for them to mail it to me, and send me a PDF a dozen times to where I am \"on the road,\" they sent it to my apartment in San Francisco.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:00:12 PM): So can't copy the format for that question (to get a copy of my registration, which apparently I have to pay $2 for)
DMV Chat Support (9/15/2021, 4:00:45 PM): I can confirm the address you have on file if that will help.
DMV Chat Support (9/15/2021, 4:00:53 PM): May I have your vehicle’s license plate number, please?
Me (9/15/2021, 4:01:36 PM): BRB
Me (9/15/2021, 4:01:48 PM): REDACTED ADDRESS
Me (9/15/2021, 4:01:58 PM): No, I know the address on the file.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:02:12 PM): That won't help. YOUR employer demands the format be identical.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:02:36 PM): Or I can't get a copy! Why don't you know this?
DMV Chat Support (9/15/2021, 4:02:51 PM): DMV does not issue parking permits. This must be done through the City not the State.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:04:01 PM): DUDE.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:04:07 PM): I am NOT asking for parking permits.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:04:16 PM): I am asking as I wrote for a copy of my registration.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:04:19 PM): Scroll up.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:04:34 PM): Reading comprehension is a huge issue at the DMV, every time I have a problem caused by the DMV.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:04:45 PM): This is why Republicans hate us.
DMV Chat Support (9/15/2021, 4:06:02 PM): Let me make sure I understand your question. You would like to request for a copy of your registration card mailed to your current address, is that correct?
Me (9/15/2021, 4:07:40 PM): Jesus Christ NO.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:08:09 PM): I am asking for a PDF of my registration, which is only possible if I fill out the DMV form online EXACTLY as formatted on the registration I DO NOT HAVE.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:08:54 PM): If I can generate a PDF of my registration (after 3 times, your agency locks you out), I can then get my parking permit in SF.
DMV Chat Support (9/15/2021, 4:09:03 PM): Who is "them" who sent you the document to your apartment?
Me (9/15/2021, 4:09:15 PM): Shift.com
Me (9/15/2021, 4:09:39 PM): In conjunction with the DMV. Despite repeated requests to have it Fedexed to me, to which they agreed. Again, I am traveling.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:10:33 PM): So again, I need to know the EXACT FORMATTING of my address on the registration to get a copy of the registration. Genius security by the DMV, I must say.
DMV Chat Support (9/15/2021, 4:10:45 PM): The issue is, proof of registration cannot be provided via a PDF format. It is only mailed to your address on file, or to a mailing address on file.
If you need a Vehicle Record Printout, this is a separate document that may also list your current address on file (however this is NOT proof of registration), this may come in a PDF format online once purchased for $2.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:11:05 PM): Is that NOT EXACTLY WHAT I WROTE?
Me (9/15/2021, 4:11:22 PM): You seem unfamiliar with the process I am enduring.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:11:36 PM): This is an epic chat.
DMV Chat Support (9/15/2021, 4:11:56 PM): Yes, these are your only options. You may either complete a Change of Address to add a mailing address on file then order a replacement registration card online.
Or purchase a Vehicle Record Printout for $2.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:12:19 PM): I AM ASKING YOU FOR THE FORMAT SO I CAN GET THE VEHICLE RECORD PRINTOUT FOR $2
Me (9/15/2021, 4:13:10 PM): I can't GET the record printout without duplicating the FORMAT of my own address. How do you NOT know this? How can you help me if you don't know that?
Me (9/15/2021, 4:14:08 PM): This is why Democrats become Republicans.
DMV Chat Support (9/15/2021, 4:14:12 PM): This is why I offered confirming your address in the first place.
For verification purposes, please confirm the following details for me:
Year and make of the vehicle,
Your full legal name that would appear on record, and
Your current address on file.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:14:23 PM): 2018 Toyota Rav4
Me (9/15/2021, 4:14:26 PM): Kevin A. Madden
Me (9/15/2021, 4:14:31 PM): REDACTED (my address)
Me (9/15/2021, 4:14:34 PM): SF CA 94109
Me (9/15/2021, 4:15:25 PM): I KNOW MY ADDRESS. Do you not know the word \"format,\" and not know your agency requires submitting my address in THAT format (which I don't have access to), to get that copy?
DMV Chat Support (9/15/2021, 4:15:32 PM): Try removing the # sign.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:15:32 PM): It is YOUR security system!
Me (9/15/2021, 4:15:55 PM): Try telling me precisely the format, including if I need the city state and zip.
DMV Chat Support (9/15/2021, 4:15:55 PM): The information you enter online is not checked against DMV’s database, so the information you enter on the screen does not have to match what is on your DL/ID, or in the DMV system. If you changed your address within the last couple years, please try both your old and new address.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:16:08 PM): I HAVE NOT CHANGED ANYTHING - JESUS H. CHRIST
Me (9/15/2021, 4:16:22 PM): Show me the exact format on my registration please: copy it and paste it.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:16:26 PM): format
Me (9/15/2021, 4:16:27 PM): format
Me (9/15/2021, 4:16:28 PM): format
Me (9/15/2021, 4:16:33 PM): i know the content
Me (9/15/2021, 4:16:34 PM): content
DMV Chat Support (9/15/2021, 4:16:35 PM): You have provided me with the correct address. Please remove the # sign, and please enter the city name in full.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:16:41 PM): show
Me (9/15/2021, 4:16:42 PM): me
Me (9/15/2021, 4:16:43 PM): the
Me (9/15/2021, 4:16:44 PM): who;e
Me (9/15/2021, 4:16:46 PM): whole
Me (9/15/2021, 4:16:47 PM): thing
Me (9/15/2021, 4:16:48 PM): correctly
Me (9/15/2021, 4:16:50 PM): formatted
Me (9/15/2021, 4:16:51 PM): please
Me (9/15/2021, 4:16:54 PM): for God's sake
Me (9/15/2021, 4:16:57 PM): you sadist
DMV Chat Support (9/15/2021, 4:16:59 PM): I cannot provide your address on this chat. I may only confirm it.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:17:12 PM): So here's what I'll try:
Me (9/15/2021, 4:17:27 PM): REDACTED (my address)
Me (9/15/2021, 4:17:32 PM): Will that work on YOUR system?
Me (9/15/2021, 4:18:01 PM): Yes or no. If no, please tell me what to change.
DMV Chat Support (9/15/2021, 4:18:05 PM): Without the word Apt. Just the number.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:18:10 PM): I started this question an hour ago
Me (9/15/2021, 4:18:19 PM): So:
Me (9/15/2021, 4:18:25 PM): I confirm their
Me (9/15/2021, 4:18:27 PM): Yes?
Me (9/15/2021, 4:18:57 PM): ?
Me (9/15/2021, 4:19:05 PM): BRB - will try to enter that.
DMV Chat Support (9/15/2021, 4:19:24 PM): That is correct.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:19:56 PM): Will try it. Please check back in a few.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:21:44 PM): \"Information provided does not match information currently stored on your DMV record.\"
Me (9/15/2021, 4:22:04 PM): Gee, thanks for all the help. Do you have a supervisor I can scream at? Need their name, direct phone number, and email.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:22:06 PM): Thanks bunches.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:23:06 PM): I started to hold for this \"help\" 70 minutes ago. So you can imagine I might be a little frustrated with you giving me incorrect information, when you get paid a salary to give me correct information.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:23:26 PM): Sitting by for supervisor contact info.
DMV Chat Support (9/15/2021, 4:24:50 PM): Unfortunately, the DMV website is run by a third party. This is where the issue comes in where for some reason users cannot be verified correctly even if they are providing accurate information online. We have brought this concern so many times up above and it is still an issue. For that, I apologize.
Please allow me a moment to transfer you to a manager.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:25:03 PM): You know what? I don't feel like hanging out for it any longer. Please email the above to (my email address) n.b. - never heard from them
Me (9/15/2021, 4:25:06 PM): Pass, thanks.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:25:27 PM): The DMV is trying to save money by offshoring it? Swell.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:25:55 PM): If you had lead with that tidbit you finally admitted, we could have both saved a lot of time.
Me (9/15/2021, 4:25:58 PM): bye
