On the whole, I've been very pleased by your conduct during this rolling crisis. Those who know me are aware of my three central critiques of you: like many, not using the power you had when you had it (as mayor), mistaking binders of data and policy for measurable changes (I think you pulled down the YouTube videos you made as Mayor explaining your policy ideas, sincerely thinking we San Franciscans would watch a total of 10 hours of talking at the camera), and talking forcefully as though you have said something.
This is me playing the piano at Dan's house for a fundraiser for you in 2007:
This is Dan, another guest, and me looking in the direction of some guy talking.
This is the guy talking.
This is you (when you were San Francisco's mayor) about ten minutes after you blew off my question about MUNI.
All Photos by Mischa Photography (yes, I paid Mischa for the shots)
Now then, here is my terse list:
1. Brevity is the soul of wit. Only about 20% of each of your daily conferences are new information.
Keep it to 10 minutes of scripted/unimprovised communication, plus another 10 minutes of screened call-ins (should only be asking new questions). We don't want to be entertained; we want to be informed. You're a good improviser, but we pay you to govern, and me and my professional entertainment buddies, who improvise professionally, script most of what we say.
I turned the radio down to write this during your address, and you're STILL talking. Ministers (professional talkers) talk one hour once a week. Consider that. We appreciate you saying of yourself that you are "long winded" in some of your answers, but would prefer you dropping the habit altogether.
2. Create a single page of pandemic-centric information on the state of California's website, divided into sections with the newest information (e.g. unemployment insurance updates, gig worker updates, data for all patients/deaths, numbers to call for the isolated/lonely, etc.).
Nobody is taking notes on what you are saying, and consolidating updated information is invaluable, and no California bureaucrats are doing it in this manner. We need one-stop shopping for good information.
3. Somebody told you that your new, pet phrase, "meeting this moment" is helpful and non-divisive. That person is an idiot. The phrase is Orwellian, and off-putting. Be less worried about offending people: keep following your good instincts to bring us together.
4. Kick some ass: the date on the state's unemployment page, I shit you not, is 2018. For those of us who gig for a living, please note the two, contradictory instructions on how to file:
Demote the two persons in charge of the website (one is IT, and the other is policy), and go on a 24 hour hunt for the competent person for those two disciplines already working there, who has written memos demanding that the state do better. Promote them. Now.
To do this, have your senior staff call people to discover the truth using the phone: everybody in a given bureaucracy knows who is the dead weight, and who is quietly going insane because they know it doesn't have to be this way. Demote & promote, now.
5. Demand that "essential businesses" follow the policies & procedures I outlined here, because magician English major retired piano players can be of use during plagues: 7 Things Your "Essential Business" Isn't Doing
6. Invoke emergency legislation, and place the 15-20% (made up statistic) of homeless who suffer from significant brain trauma (violence or drug-induced), schizophrenia, or bi-polar disorder, and involuntarily conserve them. It is less expensive and kinder to do this than deal with the chaos and damage they will cause in shelters and hotel rooms, and further injuries they will sustain. The majority of the homeless will benefit from just being sheltered for now, and persons who are struggling outdoors will benefit from not making the incompetent fend for themselves during a pandemic.
7. There is a Los Angeles emergency physician getting results (despite Trump's advocacy) with zinc and hydroxychloroquine: COVID19 Combo Curing
Create a task force staffed by clinicians to daily gather treatment outcomes for several major California hospitals: see if this (or another treatment) is working anecdotally, and see if you can get enough data to make the data though not controlled (i.e. with a control group), definitive nonetheless. You will learn what procedures were tried, what were the outcomes, and see if we can rush toward a successful cure.
8. Well, sorry. It's eight not seven points. At that fundraiser years ago Governor, I asked you a question that I still remember. You had floated a policy that if MUNI (San Francisco's public transit system) didn't hit certain marks of performance, there would be consequences.
They didn't hit the marks, so I asked you what were the consequences. You hemmed, you hawed, you talked about the weather, but you didn't answer my question.
Earlier in the week, a reporter asked you about your change of policy on masks, and you insisted you'd not changed your policy on it (from for emergency personnel only so as to not exhaust supplies, to yes, everybody should be wearing one). We're not stupid. We remember what you said.
Here is the new sentence that I need you to say when the situations is so warranted: "I made a mistake, and I've changed my mind."
* * *
Again, I think you're doing a fine job. I think you'd agree that you could do better, and the eight points above would result a sea-change in the effectiveness of your governance during this pandemic.
Hope this finds you and your family well.
Sincerely,
Kevin the Critic™
