Kevin's Beyond-Last-Minute Holiday Gift Suggestions 2020, Too Late for Chanukah, and Yet Ideal Even if Late

I wanted to finish this list a week ago. 

Like you wanted to finish your online shopping, but haven't, because you know it won't get delivered in time. And you're not supposed to drive around to drop it off, because you know why.

As today, December 21st is solstice, and thus the shortest day of the year, this will be a remarkably short list of recommendations, with the distinguishing feature that each of the makers is known to me. I do not owe them any money. So there's that, in case you foul-minded people were wondering. Which you weren't until I noted that. Or were you?

Though I personally know these folks, any of them can compete in their expertise on the world stage, so buy with confidence, or bookmark for what we all hope is a flush 2021.

There is stuff in this list that is ten bucks; there is stuff here for a couple grand. Worth a look.

Closest physically to me is one of the greatest flower shops I've seen in the world, Utsuwa. The owner, Hayama-San, is a great artist. He grew up in the same, enormous neighborhood in Tokyo with a friend of mine Mieko, and she and I agree Utsuwa is one of the best places you'll ever go to have your mind blown by unusual plants, terrariums, and arrangements. https://utsuwa.myshopify.com/pages/about-us

Want some trompe l'oeil work?

Or maybe a mural, or a fancy wallpaper job?

My friend is the artist Kit Haskell - her dad was a famous mid-century magician; she and I met when I needed some of my props repaired. You can see her portfolio here: http://paintillusions.com

Ms. CJay is a bad-ass welder, who makes stuff you want over your house entrance, or on your walls and shelves: 

https://www.cjayroughgarden.com - go ahead, look, and drool, and give her a commission.

One of my best friends is Josh Paxton, who I met when he lived in San Francisco, and helped to drive him and his life to New Orleans in a respectably large moving van, the content of which included his childhood piano that I'd helped him get down the staircases. One of my esoteric skill sets is moving objects large enough to kill you without hurting them or yourself.

You can find his piano & keyboard playing all over the place, but he makes the most dough if you download it here: No. Just kidding. He hates fixing his website when it breaks even more than I do.

His work is fortunately also here and most other download sites:  https://music.apple.com/us/artist/josh-paxton/41748812

Me? I'm a magician who also manages a magician. Read all about Ash K. & myself (I perform as Kevin the Cap) in our newest newsletter, and is that technically redundant? Kevin the Cap & Ash K. - Magicians

 

We do everything from Zoom magic shows & classes, to writing gift suggestions way after most of you have done all your shopping.

Pamela Joy suffered as my music student, before turning semi-pro. She sings her ass off (an idiom my late father would have used): go buy some joy (listen - you can hear her groaning at that quasi-pun all the way from the East Bay):

  

https://music.apple.com/us/album/just-squeeze-me/270174609?i=270174693

My friend Bill owns a video game company, and don't you wish you had like a friend like Bill? Go get some of his stuff, you gamers: https://mastiff-games.com/games/

I have no idea how he feels about this particular game, as I  have never played it, but liked the graphic because my inner 15 year old said to tell you that.

Beth Paxton is both smarter than her husband, and better looking. Her complete catalogue can be found here:

https://bethpatterson.bandcamp.com/

She is both known for her evil twin, Bad Beth, who wrote an obscene piece of genius that I really, really want to post (it involves a doll), but is inappropriate for the holidays, and for playing the bouzouki, and just kicked Josh's ass at chess in their first game. She looks like this, sometimes, and that bouzouki looks like that all the time: 

Debbie Davis - download the best holiday album known to homo sapiens, Oh Crap, It's Christmas, Volume 2 that she did with her husband, low-brass master Matt Perrine. You may get it and oh so much more either at her website (everything she has done that she has not burned in an alto rage may be found here): https://debbiedavismusic.com/store

or chez Apple, for one: https://music.apple.com/us/album/oh-crap-its-christmas-volume-2-a-family-album/1543679411

Do it now. You can afford it, damn it. She's funnier than almost all of you, and taller than a fair amount of you, too.

What do you do when you need to exercise more, and are uncoordinated? You go back to the ice skating of your childhood, which in non-winter areas has mutated into inline skating, after buying a pair of Rollerblades on Facebook marketplace for very little money, because it's too hard to get proficient at, so there are always many on sale by people with fantasies of mastery confounded by physical effort, and you find Ryo, who charges you a reasonable amount for lessons, and uses skating to deal with the stress of managing a restaurant during a pandemic, Kuma Sushi + Sake, https://www.kumasf.com. Lovely cat.

I think that's enough with the pictures that don't go where I want them to stay, and you damn well know what sushi and sake look like.

Debbie's husband (Remember her, the smart blonde alto person? Shut-up, bigot.) Matt Perrine, got his album nominated for a damn Grammy, so give up that pack of cigarettes and buy it RIGHT NOW: https://music.apple.com/us/album/atmosphere/1503134020

Other albums of his may be found here: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/matt-perrine/49566138

Heather Swain was introduced to me by neighborhood chum Mike the Knife, a writer and serious coffee drinker. She is a triple threat:

For organizing, she'll travel anywhere, and is a reasonable $85 per hour. HeatherSwain.net. She'll just help you organize that room, or move you to Florida. 

Visit Citizenswain.com for her photography, with many of the major divisions of that art form for your viewing, including earth, sky, water, vignettes, people, and the location of Marin Mafia buried bodies. 

Kidding. Probably. 

You could just blow a little dough and buy Heather's book of photography.

Citizen-Made.com for her ceramics and crafts, because organizing and photography apparently don't keep her busy enough.

Thank you for reading. Wishing you and yours a happy, healthy holiday season, and New Year that helps us let go of the stuff we did not like about 2020.